胖编怪谈:一只狗狗的控诉

胖编怪谈 胖编怪谈 62℃ 评论
<div><p><img src="http://p1.pstatp.com/large/5b470004fc6bdf23e42e" width="427" height="240" alt="一只狗狗的控诉" inline="0"></p><p>阿黄是只疯狗,给人打死了,它就跑到阎王爷跟前告状,痛哭流涕地说,阎王爷呀,你可得给我做主给我伸冤呀,他们凭什么打死了我呀,他们得给我偿命呀,你快把他们抓来呀!<br></p><p>阎王爷听了哼哼一个冷笑说,那是因为你疯了,到处咬人。阿黄一听觉的更冤枉了,说,这能怨我吗,你不知道呀,自从我的主人死了之后呀,我就没人管了呀,我反正不能饿死呀,所以我就成了流浪狗呀,跑到大街上去找吃的呀。还好呀,大街上的垃圾堆里有不少能吃的东西呀,有馒头米饭呀,有油条烧饼呀,有碎骨头烂肉呀,有鱼头鱼刺呀,有海参鲍鱼呀,我可以放开肚皮吃呀。可是吃着吃着我就吃馋了呀,馒头米饭不愿吃了呀,油条烧饼也不愿吃了呀,专吃碎骨头烂肉,鱼头鱼刺呀,海参鲍鱼呀。再后来我又发现碎骨头烂肉,鱼头鱼刺滋味也不一样呀,有的又香又好吃呀,我就捡这些香的吃呀。我越吃越爱吃呀,越吃越馋呀,越吃越想吃呀,吃不到就浑身难受呀,看见人就不顺眼呀,就想咬他们几口呀。后来我知道了呀,是那些碎骨头烂肉里头呀,鱼头鱼刺里头呀,海参鲍鱼里头呀,他们放了罂粟壳粉呀,罂粟壳粉有毒呀,我是中了毒了呀,这可是他们害的我呀。你说说呀,这怎么能怨我咬他们呀,他们要不放那种东西呀,我就不会发疯呀,那种状态下呀,我管不了自己呀!阿黄说不下去了,呜呜地哭了起来。</p><p>在阎王爷这里,人和狗蚂蚁跳蚤蚊子都是一样的,都是一条命,又听了阿黄一番话,觉得有些道理,安慰了阿黄几句,就派出小鬼儿到人间把放罂粟壳粉的锁来问罪。小鬼儿领了阎王爷的指令就来到了人间,走了一大圈儿,扭头回了阎王殿。阎王爷一看,小鬼儿们两手空空地回来了,问怎么没有锁来?小鬼儿为难地说,爷爷呀,太多了呀,我们不知锁哪一个呀?阎王爷一听来气了,说,都给我锁来呀!小鬼儿马上又说,爷爷呀,更不行了呀,别说都锁来呀,就是锁一半儿,一小半儿,一小小半儿,咱这阎王殿也放不下呀!阎王爷一听也愣了,愣了一会子,又说,那就随便锁几个来,我问问他们怎么回事呀!</p><p>小鬼儿们一听又来到了人间,就锁了3个来,一个是火锅店老板,一个是熟肉店老板,一个是麻辣粉店老板。 阎王爷问他们,为什么放罂粟壳粉害阿黄呀? 3个老板一齐说,阎王爷呀,你只知道在这边当老爷呀,不知道我们那边的情况呀,我们不这么干不行呀,不放就吃得人少呀,我们就赚不到很多钱呀。没有很多钱我们就买不起房看不起病呀,有儿子娶不回媳妇来呀,有闺女嫁不了女婿呀,就没人瞧得起我们呀,我们这也是没办法的办法呀!</p><p>阎王爷听后觉得他们是在狡辩,就问火锅店老板:“你的火锅你自己吃吗?”火锅店老板马上摇头说,不吃呀。“那你吃什么呀?”阎王爷又问。“我吃他的熟肉呀”火锅店老板一指熟肉店老板说。阎王爷又问熟肉店老板:“你吃你的熟肉吗?”熟肉店老板说:“不吃呀”他一指麻辣粉店老板又说:“我吃他的麻辣粉呀”阎王爷又问麻辣粉店老板。麻辣粉店老板就说,不吃自己的麻辣粉呀,吃火锅店老板的火锅呀。 阎王爷听罢,看看这个再看看那个,忽然呵呵地笑了,还把3个老板离开了阎王殿,回到了人间。</p><p>阿黄一看,就带着哭音儿问,阎王爷呀,你是不是人鬼勾结呀,不为我伸冤了呀,怎么不把他们抓起来下油锅呀! 阎王爷扭头看看阿黄,打住笑说,阿黄呀,你怎么就没听明白呢,他们都在自己的油锅里呀,干吗还要我费油呀,不抓不抓。。。</p></div>', groupId: '6514418766795768324', itemId: '6514418766795768324', type: 2, subInfo: { isOriginal: false, source: '白胡子怪叔叔', time: '2018-01-24 09:11:55' }, tagInfo: { tags: [{"name":"鲍鱼"},{"name":"海参"},{"name":"火锅"},{"name":"马上又"},{"name":"狗"}], groupId: '6514418766795768324', itemId: '6514418766795768324', repin: 0, }, has_extern_link: 0 }, commentInfo: { groupId: '6514418766795768324', itemId: '6514418766795768324', comments_count: 0, ban_comment: 0 }, mediaInfo: { uid: '53179458453', name: '白胡子怪叔叔', 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