胖编怪谈:网友最搞笑起床语录,送给起床困难户

胖编怪谈 胖编怪谈 159℃ 评论
<div><p><img src="http://p3.pstatp.com/large/4e750002ef9dcf4c0d8b" width="475" height="394" alt="网友最搞笑起床语录,送给起床困难户" inline="0"></p><p>1,我用了洪荒之力可是还是起不了床。<br></p><p>2,又到起床靠毅力,洗澡靠勇气的季节了。</p><p>3,起床应该是自然苏醒,闭着眼睛感受周围,或是阳光明媚有鸟儿叫,或是阴霾清冷雨打窗檐。还困就再小睡会,也可以散漫的想些事。扭几个全新的睡姿,伸个懒腰打个哈欠。又或是看看手机听听歌,和枕边人说说笑笑,愉快的下床。而不是:闹钟一响就惊慌的从被窝里弹起来,身体那么快,灵魂还措手不及的躺在那里,这叫诈尸。</p><p><img src="http://p3.pstatp.com/large/4e7200034cf7df56554d" width="300" height="211" alt="网友最搞笑起床语录,送给起床困难户" inline="0"></p><p>4,冬天能在8点之前起床的都是被生活所迫的人。<br></p><p>5,每次早上醒来来知道晚上要早点睡。</p><p>6,看时间不是为了起床,而是为了看还能睡多久。</p><p><img src="http://p1.pstatp.com/large/4e750002efd5478ce2c6" width="424" height="243" alt="网友最搞笑起床语录,送给起床困难户" inline="0"></p><p>7,本次起床共用了22分钟,您已击败了全国55%的学生,寝室另外两人本次起床失败,正在重起。<br></p><p>8,每一个闹钟旁边都有一个不想起床的懒虫。</p><p>9,每天早上起床之前都要看一遍“福布斯”富豪排行榜,如果上面没有我得名字,我就起床去上班。</p><p><img src="http://p3.pstatp.com/large/4e740003376bd1bf14f6" width="360" height="360" alt="网友最搞笑起床语录,送给起床困难户" inline="0"></p><p>10,在家每天必挨骂的四句:早上不起床,起床就上网,吃饭喊不应,晚上不睡觉。</p><p>11,每天早上一起床,就有一股想睡午觉的冲动。</p><p>12,大清早老娘跑到我房间吼了一声,外面有个姑娘找我。。。于是我赶紧穿上衣服,越想越不对。这是最新版的叫人起床!</p><p><img src="http://p3.pstatp.com/large/4e760002eaa13fbb26c6" width="600" height="466" alt="网友最搞笑起床语录,送给起床困难户" inline="0"></p></div>', groupId: '6500680267022205454', itemId: '6500680267022205454', type: 2, subInfo: { isOriginal: false, source: '白胡子怪叔叔', time: '2017-12-18 08:41:43' }, tagInfo: { tags: [{"name":"睡眠"},{"name":"苏醒"},{"name":"搞笑"}], groupId: '6500680267022205454', itemId: '6500680267022205454', repin: 0, }, has_extern_link: 0 }, commentInfo: { groupId: '6500680267022205454', itemId: '6500680267022205454', comments_count: 0, ban_comment: 0 }, mediaInfo: { uid: '53179458453', name: '白胡子怪叔叔', avatar: '//p3.pstatp.com/large/3f2a0003ec14b9768568', openUrl: '/c/user/53179458453/', follow: false }, pgcInfo: 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